If you’re someone with neck and back issues that causes migraines, then you might, as me, value the enormous relief a good massage can do for your poor head. After settling into a new routine of piggy backing kids and learning martial arts in 30degrees heat, my migraine seemed like it had come to stay. Therefore, after my participation at Loy Krathong, I thus decided to pop by one of the massage places Pattaya had to offer. Saying that, just like with tattoo shops you can barely toss a rock around here without it landing on a massage parlour so really I just stepped into the first one that offered a back massage. It proved I would have to go for the 1hr Physical Thai Massage – mind if I do!
Once I walked in, I was in a room where loads of people were getting foot massages. Thinking it looked awfully public I downed my increasing nerves with the free ice tea handed to me (hardcore when holidaying). Thankfully, I was taken upstairs to more private unisex rooms once my waiting time was over. Here there were beds lined up and screened from others to see. I’m not going to lie, the Americanized stereotypical image of Thai massages did pop into my mind. However, I was quickly handed a PJ to put on and that was way more peculiar than the setting of the place.
Now, I’ve had many massages. I’ve had the Swedish one (unfortunately she didn’t say ‘jaaa’ like Phoebe), regular massages, the chiropractic massages and a drunken massage during pre-drinks which ended in full inflammation and a night at the ER (bad timing to learn that stress and friction would cause me an allergic skin reaction). However, I believe this massage must be the strangest one ever. I was pulled and stretched, and the lady used both arms, legs, feet and her own weight to do it as well. I don’t know about you, but it’s not often I have a woman standing on my back on all four (now I’d like to exclude Uni sports socials from that because I can’t really guarantee for what happened on socials). Two lines kept popping into my mind:
Monica: Say goodbye to sore muscles!
Chandler: GOODBYE MUSCLES!!
All of that being said, I feel it’s important to say that I’m conveying the hilarity of the situation. To be honest, most of the time I was giggling like a schoolgirl because it tickled when she worked on my feet. Then the lady chuckled. Then we both laughed. I also felt great afterwards. I believe I chose the best place I could have, all the staff was really lovely, professional and, as most Thai people, extremely curious about my heritage. I will definitely go there again for my next massage once the next migraine marks its arrival. I’ll ask for the same lady too so we can continue our “I teach you Thai, you Teach me English” session. It’s always a give and take with people you meet on travels!
Today’s funny note: Sundays (my only proper days off) are quickly becoming my exploring days. Yet again I walked for an hour or so hoping to catch some significant objects to take pictures of and stories to learn from.
…One does not simply walk in Pattaya.